From an early age, you are conditioned to look outside yourself for happiness. Most of us are taught success, money, approval, etc. will make your life better. Your sense of worth derives from your career, accomplishments, possessions, relationships, physical appearance. You believe the more you accomplish and own, the happier you will be.
You develop attachments to who and what you feel bring fulfillment, identity, security and joy. This causes you to cling to these things, especially when they are threatened. It’s understandable to fear losing what you believe leads to your happiness.
Consciously or unconsciously, most of us are afraid of loss or change. This is how attachments are formed.
The problem is everything changes. That’s life.
“The root of suffering is attachment.”—Buddha
Personally, I struggled when new neighbors moved next door to me. They were very noisy. I became increasingly stressed as their barking dog and revving motorcycles would erupt at any moment. That’s when I realized I was attached to quiet.
I seriously considered moving. However, I knew this was a learning opportunity. What you resist will persist. Whatever triggers you is presenting a chance for growth and evolution.
My raucous new neighbors were providing me “pop quizzes in my class” on acceptance and compassion. To feel peace and happiness within, I would need to release attachments to what was happening around me which I could not control.
I asked my angels and spirit guides to help me overcome this challenge and move beyond it.
I requested they guide me on when and what to say to my next-door neighbors, if anything.
Whenever my mind spiraled into negativity and judgment about them, I stopped that loop of toxic thoughts.
I consciously redirected my focus from the noise to seeing myself at peace.
With powerful assistance from my angels and guides, I allowed them to help my mind gradually release negative reactions toward the neighbors. My guides gave me insights about my neighbors that helped me find compassion for them.
More and more often, I found peace within. I became less attached to quiet from my external environment.
The noise from my neighbors comes and goes but now my inner peace is controlled by me. Serenity is there when I allow it. My angels and guides help me tap into that more readily and deeply than I could on my own.
Triggers are here in this intense earth school to show us where there is room for growth. Pop quizzes will continue as necessary. When you are no longer triggered, you no longer need the class.
Our chaotic world will relentlessly try to convince you what your need for happiness is external, outside yourself. Most of us spend our lives chasing that facade. You have the power to no longer allow this madness to dictate how you live your life.
Detachment is not that you should own nothing. But that nothing should own you.”—Ali ibn Abi Talib
The key to happiness without fear is to live with non-attachment. Instead of gripping on to people, things and circumstances, hold them more lightly. Enjoy them and allow things to follow their natural course. Recognize if they go, that’s part of the nature of life.
Accept what you cannot control. In fact, the only thing you can control is your mindsets.
Non-attachment does not mean indifference. Indifference is a lack of concern or interest.
It’s time to stop looking for happiness and fulfillment in external things. When you pursue happiness with a belief someone or something outside of yourself will make you happy, you suffer because things inevitably change. The greater your attachment to something or someone, the more potential for suffering.
Allow life to unfold naturally without attachment. You will discover true happiness lies within you. It always has.