The key to happiness is low expectations.
Nope, even lower.
There you go.
Expectations Are Sometimes Ingrained in Our Subconscious.
Expectations are tricky. They’re often one of the most difficult things to manage. Expectations can build momentum and take on a life of their own. They usually have painful consequences.
It was a frustrating experience that helped me learn to expect nothing and appreciate everything.
In a quest to show myself some love, I decided to get in better shape. I made a goal to exercise a minimum of four times a week and lose ten pounds by the end of the year. With patience and gentleness, I had developed better eating habits by the year’s end. I lost some weight but it wasn’t the expected ten pounds. I was exercising more regularly but not four times every single week.
Although I was working out more, I was also listening to my body and not forcing exercise because it was a particular day of the week. Even though I had made significant progress and was taking much better care of myself, I was deeply disappointed I hadn’t achieved my expected goals. I felt beaten.
Fortunately, I decided to dig a little deeper into my expectations.
How did I create these expectations in the first place?
I discovered my overachieving mind had been feeding me unrealistic expectations of reaching specific results. It was an impractical all-or-nothing approach I’d learned at a very young age from my perfectionistic parents. It didn’t allow me to celebrate small successes that fell short of the mark. No wonder I felt defeated.
I needed to explore further. What was my pattern in creating my expectations?
I realized the more I felt vulnerable and insecure in my appearance, the more I ramped up expectations of myself.
There was a fear of not being good enough which created and fueled the expectations.
Releasing Expectations Creates Happiness.
I learned there’s nothing wrong with having expectations but it’s what I do with them and how I hang my happiness on them that creates problems. They place demands on me and others.
The energy of expectation has a heaviness because I’m attaching it to a specific outcome of events. My expectations became a burden I needed to let go of.
The gift: As I released expectations, I found more peace and joy.
What works best for me is to stop creating expectations to start with. If I write out a plan for the future, I don’t attach expectations to that plan. I narrow the possibilities when I set up a specific outcome.
Gratitude for what happens is a much healthier and loving approach.
Peace begins when expectation ends.