Stop Being a Rescuer

Pain is an Effective Motivator.

Do you tend to rescue people? It’s difficult to watch others struggle, especially loved ones. Despite your burning desire to fix things or save them, it’s not a good idea if they’re adults. When you rescue someone, it eliminates their potential growth opportunity.

Become aware of what triggers you and why. Are you trying to stop others from experiencing pain?

There is nothing wrong with pain.

Pain is a powerful teacher and incredibly effective catalyst used in this Earth school we are each enrolled in.


Everyone Incarnates on Earth Primarily for Soul Growth.

Each person is on a unique journey deliberately designed for what their soul wants them to explore and eventually master. To help accomplish this growth, everyone has agreed to play specific roles in each other’s lives, especially family.

Those you are especially challenged by are here to help with your evolvement. You are in their lives to accept them, not to judge or rescue them.

You’re not here to do their soul-growth homework.

You can’t judge them because you don’t know the bigger picture.

Pause before you rush in to fix things. They may need to descend into deeper depths of depression and despair before they’re ready to make needed changes.

They may be releasing karma.

It may look like they aren’t “getting it” but it’s likely they are on a deep subconscious level and will carry that knowledge forward into future lifetimes.


It is Essential to Have Acceptance Rather than Judgment.

Your soul growth is to accept them. Honor their choices as they learn in their own way and pace.

They are going to learn from whatever choices they make, especially the painful ones. If they were evolved enough to make better choices, they would but they aren’t there yet.

I’m not condoning malicious behavior. I am saying accept that everyone is at different levels of their evolvement. Those in the beginning stages of soul development especially don’t know any better.

Can you accept and love them exactly the way they are in their earlier stages of soul growth?

You agreed on a soul level to not judge them but to accept their choices and unconditionally love them. You are here to love them while they learn to love themselves. No easy feat but you’re up to the task.

No matter where anyone is on their evolutionary path (including yourself), it’s easier to find acceptance and compassion when you recognize we only know what we know. Each of us are growing in love but we don’t always master unconditional love. We’ll all get there eventually.


There is a Distinction Between Helping and Rescuing.

Acceptance is not about enabling harmful behavior.

It does not mean exposing yourself to toxic situations. Set up boundaries out of self-love when necessary.

There is a difference between helping and rescuing. When someone asks for a specific type of help, you consider it and agree to assist.

Rescuing is when you judge someone to have a need and step in to solve their problem.

Helping is a wonderful thing to do. Volunteer to assist the homeless, raise money for a charitable organization, etc.


Challenging People Are Opportunities for Your Development.

You don’t have control over people’s behavior. You do have power over your response to them, though. Become aware when your mind is judging them and their behavior.

The problem isn’t with them—it’s with your judging them.

The key is to observe what they are doing but not get triggered and dragged in emotionally. Let the emotions of fear, frustration or anger rise and then pass through you. It’s when you grab hold of these unhealthy emotions and engage with them that you get stuck in them.

Some people are deliberately on your path to provide opportunities for your growth. Allow them to learn their soul lessons while you learn yours. You’re here to resist the urge to be a rescuer.

About the Author

Robbie Holz

Robbie Holz is an internationally respected healer, medium, frequent media guest and an award-winning author.

Comments 1

  1. Thank you, dear friend, for this timely article. I needed it very much, as I am now in a situation of living IN the household of my son and his family for a time. So much opportunity to be triggered, to judge and to rescue. THANK YOU for this potent and intelligent reminding!

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